29 Oct 2013 4 Comments
A short documentary following Paul Woodward and myself as we prepared for our two separate one-man storytelling performances in “The Father+Mother Project” – ‘Killing My Mother’ and ‘Fathers & Feathers.’
This film was produced, directed and edited by Francois Lubbe (littleredshoes.me).
24 Sep 2013 5 Comments
in Gay Tags: Africa, Father, Gay, LGBT, Mother, Storytelling
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do ” – Brené Brown
Early next month I take to stage with a fellow storyteller to share stories about my journey with my mother. My solo piece is called ‘Killing My Mother’!
When I think of the phrase ‘killing my mother’ there are three stories that come to mind. The first story features the statement – ‘I never killed my mother, so you cannot kill me’. This was something my mother often said, as she would beat me in my teens whenever I misbehaved. The second features – ‘You have killed me!’ This was the first thing that my mother screamed when in my late 20s I told her that I was gay. The third features – ‘You made your mother miserable and that misery killed her’. This was what my mother’s pastor told me when I returned to Nigeria in my 40s for my mother’s funeral.
I recently sat down with my fellow storytelling collaborator (Paul Woodward) to discuss our upcoming performance, our inspiration and intentions….. here is our conversation…..
10 Jul 2013 9 Comments
in Reflections Tags: Brene Brown, Freshly Pressed, Gay, LGBT, Storytelling
Three weeks ago, I had no idea what being ‘Freshly Pressed’ meant. I’m rather glad I did not, because such knowledge was bound to have triggered my old chestnut of ‘I am not good enough’, which in turn might have led to me striving and striving to get something Freshly Pressed; all with a view to becoming the illusory and momentary ‘good enough’. Yes I know, what does ‘good enough’ mean anyway? And does being Freshly Pressed really matter? But hey, it’s an old wound I carry and much as I’d like to pretend that I no longer hear its silent whisper, deep down I know that it still rears its stubborn head from time to time, to let me know that I can run but cannot hide.
A couple of days after the Freshly Pressed post, I noticed that my email inbox was filled with tons of notifications of either people following my blog or posting a comment. My immediate thought was that my spam filter was compromised and I decided to ignore them. Later that evening I noticed that @freshly_pressed had tweeted my post. Aww, that’s nice I thought, as I looked though the other blogs that had also been tweeted. I mentioned the tweet on Facebook and got a few ‘Congratulations’, for which I felt embarrassed; ‘its only a tweet I thought, no big deal’. More
20 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in Risk Tags: Amsterdam, Gay, Lagos, Nigeria, Risks, Storytelling
On Friday 9th December 2011, I attended a storytelling night at Mezrab in Amsterdam. A fellow storyteller had mentioned the gathering and as a lover of stories, how could I resist!
As I had never been to the Mezrab before, nor knew the potential size of the crowd, my intention was simply to sit back, listen and enjoy a Friday night-out. On getting to the event, the friend who invited me insisted that l take the floor at some stage during the evening to tell a story; but I was unsure. More
30 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Reflections on 2011 Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Storytelling
It’s the end of the first year of OutTales around the Fire and what a year it has been. The themes covered since the launch in June 2011 have included – First Time, Family, Pride, Relationships, Holding on & Letting go and Religion & Spirituality.
I have certainly enjoyed writing stories for each of those themes, it has been releasing, healing and allowed me to finally embrace the multi-layed dimensions of myself. I have also enjoyed reading the submissions from the various contributors and have been moved by the honesty, authenticity and openness shown in each sharing.
I have received such lovely and wonderful emails from people across the globe who have talked about the delight they get from the stories shared. Some of the comments received were: More
OutTales around the Fire 