Conforming, in order to be accepted……

…….. well, that’s just too high a price to pay!

Ade FBWhenever I reflect on the relationship that I had with my father, one of the things that I regret was that I never fully showed up in our encounters. I was so busy trying to be the person that I felt he would like me to be that by the time he passed away on 27th January 1995, I was completely out of touch with the person I was.

I recognize now that in my longing for acceptance and love, I had suppressed so many emotional wounds developed from feeling different and not fitting in.

With my father passing, I vowed not to repeat that pattern with my mother, and others who were part of my life. Over the years, this has proved to be ever so challenging and not so easy to implement. Conforming to be accepted had become such a learnt behaviour, that doing something different, like honoring myself sometimes felt unnatural.

The first conversation I had about my sexuality with my mother happened about a year after my father died. It was heated, raw and painful.  I broke contact for a couple of years, as it was too painful to see the hurt in my mother’s eyes. The second conversation with her took place 15 years later and it was just as painful, if not more. Again we broke off contact, during that period she passed away. More

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To risk or not to risk?

On Friday 9th December 2011, I attended a storytelling night at Mezrab in Amsterdam. A fellow storyteller had mentioned the gathering and as a lover of stories, how could I resist!

As I had never been to the Mezrab before, nor knew the potential size of the crowd, my intention was simply to sit back, listen and enjoy a Friday night-out. On getting to the event, the friend who invited me insisted that l take the floor at some stage during the evening to tell a story; but I was unsure. More

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