The price of integrity

There are a few of words that I have begun to notice that I use a lot in my conversations. The words come up in a variety of situations, not just with friends but in different personal and professional situations. Those words are ‘congruence’, ‘authentic’ and ‘integrity’.

When I first noticed the regular appearance of these words a few years ago, I came to accept that I was using the words in an aspirational sense and was not really ‘walking the talk’ when it came to the essence of those words. For there were many moments where I was still selling out, compromising, playing small or hiding my True Self. To live a congruent and authentic life, a life of integrity, is something that I certainly aspire to and day-after-day, and I now realise that it is an ongoing process and not necessarily a destination.  I love this extract from Wikipedia: More

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Saying ‘I love you!’

In my adolescence, I was always hypnotized by those moments in movies or novels where the couple would say ‘I love you’ to one another. Or where the parents would say ‘I love you’ to one of their children. For me, this was not something that happened in my reality. They were three words I grew up never hearing; although in the imaginary world I had constructed for myself, I heard those words time and time again.

Expressing love through words was not something that was a done thing in my household. Love was expressed through ‘things’.  So I got to learn that my parents loved me when they got me ‘things’. And I came to interpret them not getting me ‘things’ as a sign of disapproval or rejection. More

Love on the Inside

Love is about noticing joy in the presence of another person”                – Alan Downs, The Velvet Rage

I guess I feel that that definition is fine in as far as it goes, but it does feels a little limiting to me.

What I am more interested in at the moment is the love that doesn’t require the presence of another person, or an animal, that doesn’t need me to be in a particular place or with a particular object. What I am fascinated with, and by, is the love that bubbles up on the inside when I am present to myself, when I am still and quiet and available to it. For it never went anywhere, I am learning. More

The theme for February and March is ‘Passion, Love & Integrity’

For February and March, we have three separate themes. The inspiration for the themes is taken from ‘The Velvet Rage’ – Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man’s world’ by Alan Downs. In one of the final chapters, ‘The Road to Contentment’, Alan says ‘contentment in life rests firmly in the pursuit of Passion, Love and Integrity’. More

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