Ade (@OutTales) tells the story of his longing to leave Nigeria and his dramatic attempt to make his dream come true.
Chasing Rainbows
06 May 2013 Leave a comment
in Gay, Risk Tags: Africa, Gay, homosexual, Nigeria
Going beneath our differences by sharing our stories
30 Nov 2012 Leave a comment
in Coming Out, Friendship, Risk Tags: Africa, Friendship, Gay, Homophobia, homosexual, Nigeria
A few weeks ago I was with a friend, when I got out my pen to write something. ‘Oh, you’re left-handed he said’, ‘Yes, I replied’; conscious of the fact that it’s something I hardly think about and to an extent assume everyone knows. Curious, I asked whether he was too and he replied ‘yes’. I mentioned that I had never noticed, we both laughed and the conversation moved on to something else.
In my early childhood, when we moved from London to Nigeria, members of my family tried many futile attempts to get me to use my right hand. It was deemed an abomination to be left-handed and many of them were not having it. When none of their efforts worked, they gave up. These day its a subject far from my thoughts, until I am reminded like I was in that conversation. And on those occasions, when asked I don’t go to that place of fear of rejection, being vulnerable, being uncertain, and no old wounds of friends or family members disowning me for being left-handed are triggered. More
Taking the risk to share my lifestyle choice with others
30 Jan 2012 4 Comments
in Risk Tags: Bisexual, Facebook, Gay, Nigeria, Risk
I had to ponder a bit about what I would like to contribute to this month’s theme on ‘risk’. This is purely because I have shared a lot of personal insights and experiences about my life with all my stories on ‘OutTales around the Fire’, which I have perceived as ‘positive risk’ taking, because despite my anxiety around the positive or negative comments my stories may generate, the sharing of the stories has been an outlet for me and quite cathartic; and I am sharing my stories with people who may have similar experiences; and the audience of the site (I presume) is mainly same gender loving people who are also sharing their stories to provide insight for others in this wide diaspora of same gender loving peoples. More
To risk or not to risk?
20 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in Risk Tags: Amsterdam, Gay, Lagos, Nigeria, Risks, Storytelling
On Friday 9th December 2011, I attended a storytelling night at Mezrab in Amsterdam. A fellow storyteller had mentioned the gathering and as a lover of stories, how could I resist!
As I had never been to the Mezrab before, nor knew the potential size of the crowd, my intention was simply to sit back, listen and enjoy a Friday night-out. On getting to the event, the friend who invited me insisted that l take the floor at some stage during the evening to tell a story; but I was unsure. More
Taking the risk to be myself
10 Jan 2012 1 Comment
in Risk Tags: Authenticity, Gay, Risk
As each year goes by, I have begun to notice that I feel more comfortable in my own skin, and in my interactions with the world. Yes, I still get those moments where I find that I am over compromising to fit into the demands of another. However, those moments are no longer the norm of my life. I am noticing as the years go by, that I am taking more risks at being myself.
In a recent post, I shared my reflections on ‘being different and the journey towards self-acceptance’. The fact of the matter is, for a long time that second wolf I talked about was running my life – ‘the wolf of conforming and hiding, in order to feel a sense of validation and acceptance’. The wolf of compromise, and playing small. More
The theme for January 2012 is ‘Risk’
01 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in Risk Tags: Coming Out, Gay, New Year, Risk
For January 2012, the theme for the stories to be shared around the fire is ‘Risk’.
The beginning of the year is a time that is traditionally known for people setting New Year resolutions, plans or goals. For many these well-intended dreams vanish, even before the first month of the year is over. The main reason this happens is in the lack of courage to follow through on taking a risk; or put another way, the fear of taking a risk. More
OutTales around the Fire 