Love Me As I Am: gay men reflect on their lives
15 Oct 2012 Leave a comment
in Gay, Reflections, Velvet Rage Tags: Gay, homosexual, Shame, Velvet Rage
I Know A Few Things About Waiting
07 Aug 2012 3 Comments
in Holding On and Letting Go Tags: Authenticity, Family, Gay, Shame
I know a few things about waiting,
you see, for a long time that’s all I did.
Waiting for that tomorrow where I’d be welcomed
and embraced by benevolent witnesses.
Yes, I know a few things about waiting.
Waiting for that storm to pass, for the waves to settle.
Yearning and longing. Dreaming and hoping,
for the life that I had imagined to finally begin. More
Dance with my mother
24 Jul 2012 1 Comment
in Family Tags: Authenticity, Family, Gay, Shame
To be in her presence is to take off my shoes
and dance wearing the shoes of another
For my shoes are seen as not good enough
my shoes are seen as damaged
my shoes are seen as flawed.
More
Don’t ask, Don’t tell
23 May 2012 2 Comments
in Coming Out Tags: Africa, Family, Gay, Homophobia, homosexual, Nigeria, Shame
I remember bumping into a cousin on my way home, one early evening about eight years ago. I remember it so well because the conversation we had, has always stayed with me.
The encounter had happened many years after my so-called ‘coming out to the world’ phase. That coming out journey had meant that I had come to be comfortable within the gay scene and all that it brought. I had experienced the ups and downs of a long-term relationship, as well as the casual flings that I had hoped would lead somewhere. My close friends and mother knew I was gay and whilst I did not experience the acceptance of everyone I had revealed myself to, I was at a place in my life where I felt really comfortable about how I was – well, that is what I thought, until that encounter one early evening. More
Pride & Shame
02 Jul 2011 2 Comments
in Pride Tags: Gay Pride, Shame
As the streets of central London celebrate Gay Pride, I find myself reflecting on the relationship between Pride and Shame. I have come to understand that both are different sides of the same coin. Pride, being the light and Shame, the shadow. We all know it’s impossible to have one without the other. To deny the existence of Shame is like denying night will not come after daytime departs; to pretend that winter will not come, because it was a glorious summer.
Our human experience means that we are caught up in a lifetime of duality – the presence of ‘good’ means that there is ‘bad’. Something being ‘wrong’ means that somewhere, something is ‘right’. I am gradually learning that in order to stand authentically with Pride, it is important for me to acknowledge, uncover and meet the Shame. More
OutTales around the Fire 