Stories of my Yesterday

Stories of My Yesterday


Yearning for the deep


We know each other on the surface,
for this is where we have danced
and waded into the shallows.

But now I yearn for the deep,
for I have glimpsed the treasure
that eluded me for many years. More

Chasing Rainbows

Ade (@OutTales) tells the story of his longing to leave Nigeria and his dramatic attempt to make his dream come true.

The Quartet: Connecting & Conforming – Belonging & Fitting-In

Ade FBI read the words again and again. They had leapt off the screen when I first saw them in the email from my friend who was having a great holiday on the other side of the globe.

He talked about watching the other vacationers and locals, and sometimes feeling like he was “the only gay in the village” and then came the words that had pierced my heart,  “… Sometimes I think it would be really nice to be straight and wander around with my girlfriend LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE DOING…”

On reflection I guess those words had resonated with me because just before opening his email, I had been browsing online through the past covers of a UK gay lifestyle magazine. I had not intended to spend as much time as I did going through the covers. But somewhere after coming across the most recent four back-issues, I was curious to see if the magazine had one with a black person on the cover. “I see no one like me here” I thought to myself; at that stage I had lost count of the number of covers I had glanced at. More

I love you, but……….

Being Gay – Same Gender Loving –
goes beyond  ‘lifestyle’,  ‘preference’,
‘orientation’, ‘behaviour’
or what I do and do not do with my ‘bits’.
Being Gay is part of my Human Identity.
It is part of my Human Beingness,
It is part of my Human Isness,
It is part of my Human Expression.
It is part of my Humanness. More

Navigating Sexuality and Race – A journey all Black Gay Men travel!

Ade FB This past Saturday, I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I noticed a reference to an interview with the BBC journalist Evan Davis, where he talked about his coming out as a gay man. There was one tweet that made reference to the story being in the Independent newspaper that grabbed my attention and so I decided to read the interview. I read the article, but found myself stop when I came across the statement:

Davis said: “My other brother, who I’m convinced had already been told, managed to lighten the mood with the wry quip ‘Thank God you’re not black!’”

As a black gay man, I was not sure how to take this comment. What did it mean? How did such a comment lighten the mood? Did the quip mean ‘Thank God you’re not black, because it could be much worse?” or did it mean “You have it easy as a white gay man?”. Was not sure what it meant, but certainly did not see the comment as funny. I decided to check out the original article on the R U Coming Out site to see if I was missing something, the full extract read:

My parents didn’t guess, but my brother who I had told the previous day in the car did. He pretended he didn’t already know and said, ‘You’re gay’ – the second time he’s guessed in as many days! It turned out to be a very helpful intervention because it meant that I didn’t actually have to say those words. It certainly made things a bit easier for me. My other brother, who I’m convinced had already been told, managed to lighten the mood with the wry quip ‘Thank God you’re not black!’ More

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