The time procrastination almost got in the way!

Black and GayA few months ago I had the honour and pleasure of having one of my stories included in the anthology “Black and Gay in the UK“.  A copy of the book has found its resting place in our living room, and yesterday evening it found its way into my hands, as I found myself delving into one of its many stories.

Since its publication, I have found that I want to savour each and every story, like a delicious treat that I do not wish to end. And so, every now and then, I’ll pick up the book and reread a tale or discover a new one.

Last night, I discovered a new one and in the process I reconnected with the younger version of myself who longed to know that he was not the only one who felt ‘different’ from the other boys. That younger self who yearned to find a place where he was loved and accepted exactly as he was. That younger self who craved for connection and belonging.

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Navigating Sexuality and Race – A journey all Black Gay Men travel!

Ade FB This past Saturday, I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I noticed a reference to an interview with the BBC journalist Evan Davis, where he talked about his coming out as a gay man. There was one tweet that made reference to the story being in the Independent newspaper that grabbed my attention and so I decided to read the interview. I read the article, but found myself stop when I came across the statement:

Davis said: “My other brother, who I’m convinced had already been told, managed to lighten the mood with the wry quip ‘Thank God you’re not black!’”

As a black gay man, I was not sure how to take this comment. What did it mean? How did such a comment lighten the mood? Did the quip mean ‘Thank God you’re not black, because it could be much worse?” or did it mean “You have it easy as a white gay man?”. Was not sure what it meant, but certainly did not see the comment as funny. I decided to check out the original article on the R U Coming Out site to see if I was missing something, the full extract read:

My parents didn’t guess, but my brother who I had told the previous day in the car did. He pretended he didn’t already know and said, ‘You’re gay’ – the second time he’s guessed in as many days! It turned out to be a very helpful intervention because it meant that I didn’t actually have to say those words. It certainly made things a bit easier for me. My other brother, who I’m convinced had already been told, managed to lighten the mood with the wry quip ‘Thank God you’re not black!’ More

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