I had to ponder a bit about what I would like to contribute to this month’s theme on ‘risk’. This is purely because I have shared a lot of personal insights and experiences about my life with all my stories on ‘OutTales around the Fire’, which I have perceived as ‘positive risk’ taking, because despite my anxiety around the positive or negative comments my stories may generate, the sharing of the stories has been an outlet for me and quite cathartic; and I am sharing my stories with people who may have similar experiences; and the audience of the site (I presume) is mainly same gender loving people who are also sharing their stories to provide insight for others in this wide diaspora of same gender loving peoples. More
Taking the risk to share my lifestyle choice with others
30 Jan 2012 4 Comments
in Risk Tags: Bisexual, Facebook, Gay, Nigeria, Risk
To risk or not to risk?
20 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in Risk Tags: Amsterdam, Gay, Lagos, Nigeria, Risks, Storytelling
On Friday 9th December 2011, I attended a storytelling night at Mezrab in Amsterdam. A fellow storyteller had mentioned the gathering and as a lover of stories, how could I resist!
As I had never been to the Mezrab before, nor knew the potential size of the crowd, my intention was simply to sit back, listen and enjoy a Friday night-out. On getting to the event, the friend who invited me insisted that l take the floor at some stage during the evening to tell a story; but I was unsure. More
My Sexuality is a Human Right
06 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Africa, Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
The removal of fuel subsidy is the latest news gripping the citizens of Nigeria. So for now, that homophobic piece of legislation – The Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill – appears to be the last thing on the mind of everyday Nigerians (as it should be!).
Nonetheless, it is important for us as same gender loving people to remain vigilant and not be distracted. We must continue to remind our family, friends, neighbours and the Legislators, that our Sexuality is a Human Right, and we will not be distracted from standing up for our fundamental right.
Fellow blogger, Adaku Utah at SouLar Bliss, recently shared a prayer ‘in solidarity with fellow queer Nigerian kin…… as a remedy to heal all that has attempted to silence our powerful selves’. With her kind permission, I share the prayer with you: More
My Sexuality is a Human Right
03 Jan 2012 Leave a comment
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Africa, Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
I attended seven weddings in 2011. The people who got married were my friends, and many of us gathered to celebrate their joy at finding a partner for the journey of life.
I watched them take their vows, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes: “to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others till death do us part”. Those are strong words and for each man and woman who took those vows before me, I believe they were telling the truth. More
Reflections on identity and otherness
27 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Reflections on 2011 Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
A couple of months ago, I was in a training session where we were exploring diversity and difference in the context of the ‘oppressor’ and ‘oppressed’.
In one of the exercises, we were asked by the facilitator to join one of the designated groups that we had collectively generated; the idea was for us to explore the potential issues faced by that oppressed group.
The groups included – Women, Jewish, Working class, LGBTI, Black and a couple of others that I forget. We had to join a group that we self-identified with. As people moved around to join their chosen group, a guy from one of the other groups waved at me and said ‘come on, we are over here’. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was inviting me to join the Black group. ‘It’s okay, I’ll stay over here’, I said – ‘over here’, being the LGBTI group. The exchange lasted only a couple of seconds and yet it had a profound impact on me. More
My Sexuality is a Human Right
22 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
Yesterday, I read yet another story from the land of my ancestors about how ‘gays were a Western phenomenon’.
Today, I saw yet another comment on a blog, from a concerned Nigerian saying that ‘gays were an abomination, and should keep their business behind closed doors’.
I have visions of a tomorrow where the stories from the land of my ancestors celebrate the lives of everyone, regardless of them being gay or lesbian.
I have visions of a tomorrow, where parents, uncles, aunties and neighbors stand and speak up against any form of homophobia that is uttered in their presence. More
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