The time procrastination almost got in the way!

Black and GayA few months ago I had the honour and pleasure of having one of my stories included in the anthology “Black and Gay in the UK“.  A copy of the book has found its resting place in our living room, and yesterday evening it found its way into my hands, as I found myself delving into one of its many stories.

Since its publication, I have found that I want to savour each and every story, like a delicious treat that I do not wish to end. And so, every now and then, I’ll pick up the book and reread a tale or discover a new one.

Last night, I discovered a new one and in the process I reconnected with the younger version of myself who longed to know that he was not the only one who felt ‘different’ from the other boys. That younger self who yearned to find a place where he was loved and accepted exactly as he was. That younger self who craved for connection and belonging.

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The Past Is A Foreign Country

My talented friend Francois Lubbe made a short film about my journey with storytelling, the piece is titled ‘The Past Is A Foreign Country’.

This short film takes a brief but in-depth look at the positive impact and healing power of storytelling, and how its application and practice can transform lives.

The Past Is A Foreign Country from Little Red Shoes on Vimeo.

“Sometimes, the best way to move forward in life is by looking back—even if the story of our past is one we want to forget”

When I take off my vulnerability armor and allow myself to be seen…..

Ade - WakeOne of the many things I love about storytelling is that each time a story is told, something is always discovered or rediscovered by the storyteller. No matter how many times I tell a tale, I am always finding another insight or revelation, which always leaves me feeling like I have never told the story before.

One such tale is an encounter that I recently had with a taxi driver in London. In fact, a few minutes after the encounter, I found myself telling the story in a business meeting, and in the days that followed, I must have told it at least once a day. As I reflected on the story earlier this week, I found that I was still uncovering newer depths to the story; very much like Alice, lost in Wonderland and getting more curious and curious!

I have wanted to write about the story for the past couple of weeks, but I had become so enchanted by the oral telling of the tale and somehow felt that putting it to paper might mean that the story no longer unraveled. But as I found myself going through the OutTales archive over the past few days, I noticed that so many of the stories here all have further levels to what has been written, and if I was to write many of them again now, there will be a different pair of eyes and hand bringing new life to the already told tales… More

SAGBA – “The Struggle”

Bisi Alimi, Human Rights Activist and Ade Adeniji, Founder of OutTales, sit down to talk about being Nigerian and gay, and explore issues covering religion and family acceptance.

The Fear of Being Authentic

Ade - LagosI have often struggled with the issue of being ‘the authentic me’ when in dialogue with members of my family of origin.

The issue of ‘Is all of me welcome here?’ is always at the back of my mind. Somewhere along my life journey, I came to believe that I had to censor being myself in order to be fully accepted. And somewhere along that journey, that belief became – ‘that’s just the way it is’.

For a long time that approach was satisfactory, however over the past few years, it has been a hard struggle to maintain the facade of it all.  In most cases, I have found that I resort to a default position of putting my head in the sand, hoping that the situation goes away… but sadly, it does not…. And like Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’ I find myself reliving an exhausting and unfulfilling scenario. More

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Love Me As I Am – The Book