05 Dec 2011 1 Comment
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
I did not wake up on a sunny Saturday morning, yawn, stretch and tell myself, ‘I’m tired of being straight, today is a good day to be gay.’
I’ve always been gay. I’ve always been on this less taken path for as long as I can remember. It’s as natural to me, as it is for a dove designed to fly, not swim. As natural to me, as it is for an eagle born to soar, not crawl.
My heart and soul are channeled to this path and without expressing myself, I’m like an eagle caged forever. More
04 Dec 2011 Leave a comment
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
I have been gay all my life, well as far as I can imagine. I didn’t make myself this way, I have lived my lifestyle in such a way that it doesn’t affect anyone.
Since the anti-gay bill in Nigeria has been introduced, every LGBT person here now lives in fear of being the first victim of the witch-hunt; with the high level of ignorance, we never can vouch for what family members, co-workers, friends & neighbors might do, in fear of the 10-year jail term for abetting a same sex relationship. More
03 Dec 2011 Leave a comment
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria, Same Gender Loving
My sexuality is my ‘absolute’ and fundamental human right. I refer to ‘absolute’ in the sense that my sexuality must be free from restriction, limitation and exception; especially since I am an adult, living in a democratic society, with the right to make choices about whom and how I choose to have sex; and in fact live my life without impinging on other Peoples civil liberties.
My two exceptions in relation to sexual activities between human beings are pedophilia, because a child has to reach an age where they can make informed choices and not be exploited or abused by anyone; and rape because it is fundamentally wrong (in my view) to force another person to have sex by using threats, intimidation, position power, emotional blackmail and or violence. More
02 Dec 2011 Leave a comment
in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: Gay, LGBTI, Nigeria
Running in parallel with our monthly OutTales themes will be the ‘My Sexuality is a Human Right‘ campaign.
I have come to understand that social action takes different forms. Some people are called to be protesters and march the streets. Some people are called to be activists in the background, by engaging in dialogue with friends, family and colleagues. Some people are called to lobby legislators and human rights bodies.
We all have a part to play, some in the background, some at the forefront – even if it is as simple as providing a compassionate ear to a fellow member of the Family, worried about the impact of this homophobic piece of legislation. This is a call to action; we all have a part to play. Sitting on the fence or staying quiet is not an option. Our silence will not save us. More
30 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in Holding On and Letting Go Tags: Coming Out, Gay, Nigeria
We had not seen each other for many weeks, which was unusual for us, as we would normally hang out most weekends. I had been the one to initiate recent telephone contact, during which I felt the intimacy gone from our conversations.
I felt something was amiss and did not know what to say or do. I wanted to address it, but deep in my heart I knew I was not ready to hear those words ‘It’s over!’ All I did was cling, afraid that letting go meant abandonment, an old childhood wound which had been reactivated, during those many weeks of not seeing each other.
11 Nov 2011 6 Comments
in Holding On and Letting Go Tags: Family, Gay, Nigeria
I woke up this morning to an email from a cousin informing me that our grandmother had died; his father’s mother, my mother’s mother.
As I stood in my kitchen glued to the words in the email, I remembered the last time I saw my grandmother. It was over 9 years ago, during a visit to Lagos, when I had travelled there to face the ghosts of my past. We had not seen each other in over 15 years, and when I entered the crowded room she was in, she immediately burst into song. Even though she was well into her 80s’, she was fully alive in every way. She was frail and could not walk unassisted, and yet she swayed as she serenaded me with her words; summoning the spirits of our ancestors and thanking them for guiding me back home.
OutTales around the Fire 