What Coming Out means to me

08 May 2012 1 Comment

by OutTales in Coming Out Tags: , , ,

Although I am relatively content with my life and I have come out of the closet to some people, I have equally chosen to not come out of the closet to others.

Coming out of the closet to everyone in my life and to people who know me continues to scare me profoundly.  I can only call this a form of profound fear because I am afraid of the awkwardness it might create for me and I fear the negative consequences of losing the things that I hold dear – this includes my sense of self, the validation and respect of some friends, some colleagues, some relatives and my in-laws – I fear what they would think and how they would react. Do I really want to know what they think about my sexuality? NO! Do they really need to know what my sexuality is? NO!  Do they need to know I am not monogamous sexually? NO! More

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!

06 May 2012 1 Comment

by OutTales in Coming Out Tags: , , ,

When I was 13, I knew I was gay. I didn’t do anything about it, until I was almost 22 – I spent the summer of that year in Kansas City!

I was afraid to be gay. Growing up in a northern English mill town, I heard the hate towards gay people, and I didn’’t want to be hated. More

Coming out to my Father

01 May 2012 4 Comments

by OutTales in Coming Out Tags: , , ,

I never got to come out to my father. And it was only after his passing that I came to learn that he knew about the elephant in the room, he had simply never asked me and I had simply never told.

The first time I found out that he knew about the elephant in the room, was in the summer of 1989. My mother was visiting London from Nigeria, and one afternoon during a heated telling-off from her, she said ‘so I hear that you are now following men around’.

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The theme for May is ‘Coming Out’

01 May 2012 Leave a comment

by OutTales in Coming Out Tags: , ,

Over the past couple of months, I have found myself caught up in conversations on the issue of ‘coming out’, or coincidentally, simply coming across a variety of articles on the matter.

Opinions have been diverse on whether ‘coming out’ is a necessary step in the journey of every same gender loving person and in some cases, the views have been that it is a western idea which is not always culturally compatible across the globe. There have also been some who have said ‘I don’t hide it. I simply don’t wear it on my shoulder. And if I was asked, I will tell’.

Every same gender loving person has a story to tell around coming out. From, choosing to come out to a parent, a friend, a work colleague or a stranger on a train. Or choosing not to come out when faced with the question from a family member, an old school friend or the cashier behind the till who asks whether the item we placed on the counter was for ‘your girlfriend’. The scenarios are endless. More

Bringing Passion to Play

23 Apr 2012 Leave a comment

by OutTales in Passion Tags: , , ,

In January 2010, I started taking improvisation classes. This was something that I had thought about doing for sometime, having falling in love, many years prior, with the show ‘Whose line is it anyway?’

Deep down, I had also felt that I’d enjoy throwing myself into ambiguous situations, not knowing where things might end up. Okay, intellectually I knew I’d enjoy it, and yet emotionally I was thinking, ‘I must be crazy embarking on this!’

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Bringing Passion to Work

15 Apr 2012 2 Comments

by OutTales in Passion Tags: , , ,

I was always envious of my friends and classmates who had a clear idea of what they wanted to do or who they wanted to be when they ‘grew up’.

I always dreaded being asked ‘so what do you want to do when you grow up?’ My answer would always vary depending on who was asking the question – my unimaginative responses varied from ‘News Reader, Astronaut, Inventor, Designer, Scientist and Lawyer’. The idea of being a lawyer stuck and I found myself at University studying Law and a year later, I was at Law School (more on that journey here).

That was all a long time ago and my ‘almost career’ in law is a distant memory. My career journey has taken different paths over the years; the consistent theme being working with people – in the human resources arena, with roles ranging from Specialist, Consultant Facilitator and Coach. More

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