Taking the risk to be myself

10 Jan 2012 1 Comment

by OutTales in Risk Tags: , ,

As each year goes by, I have begun to notice that I feel more comfortable in my own skin, and in my interactions with the world. Yes, I still get those moments where I find that I am over compromising to fit into the demands of another. However, those moments are no longer the norm of my life. I am noticing as the years go by, that I am taking more risks at being myself.

In a recent post, I shared my reflections on ‘being different and the journey towards self-acceptance’. The fact of the matter is, for a long time that second wolf I talked about was running my life – ‘the wolf of conforming and hiding, in order to feel a sense of validation and acceptance’. The wolf of compromise, and playing small. More

My Sexuality is a Human Right

06 Jan 2012 3 Comments

by OutTales in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: , , ,

The removal of fuel subsidy is the latest news gripping the citizens of Nigeria. So for now, that homophobic piece of legislation – The Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill – appears to be the last thing on the mind of everyday Nigerians (as it should be!).

Nonetheless, it is important for us as same gender loving people to remain vigilant and not be distracted. We must continue to remind our family, friends, neighbours and the Legislators, that our Sexuality is a Human Right, and we will not be distracted from standing up for our fundamental right.

Fellow blogger, Adaku Utah at  SouLar Bliss, recently shared a prayer ‘in solidarity with fellow queer Nigerian kin…… as a remedy to heal all that has attempted to silence our powerful selves’. With her kind permission, I share the prayer with you: More

My Sexuality is a Human Right

03 Jan 2012 Leave a comment

by OutTales in My Sexuality is a Human Right Tags: , , ,

I attended seven weddings in 2011. The people who got married were my friends, and many of us gathered to celebrate their joy at finding a partner for the journey of life.

I watched them take their vows, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes: “to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others till death do us part”. Those are strong words and for each man and woman who took those vows before me, I believe they were telling the truth. More

The theme for January 2012 is ‘Risk’

01 Jan 2012 3 Comments

by OutTales in Risk Tags: , , ,

For January 2012, the theme for the stories to be shared around the fire is ‘Risk’.

The beginning of the year is a time that is traditionally known for people setting New Year resolutions, plans or goals. For many these well-intended dreams vanish, even before the first month of the year is over. The main reason this happens is in the lack of courage to follow through on taking a risk; or put another way, the fear of taking a risk. More

Take out the Old, Bring in the New

30 Dec 2011 2 Comments

by OutTales in Reflections on 2011 Tags: , ,

It’s the end of the first year of OutTales around the Fire and what a year it has been. The themes covered since the launch in June 2011 have included – First Time, Family, Pride, Relationships, Holding on & Letting go  and Religion & Spirituality.

I have certainly enjoyed writing stories for each of those themes, it has been releasing, healing and allowed me to finally embrace the multi-layed dimensions of myself. I have also enjoyed reading the submissions from the various contributors and have been moved by the honesty, authenticity and openness shown in each sharing.

I have received such lovely and wonderful emails from people across the globe who have talked about the delight they get from the stories shared. Some of the comments received were: More

Reflections on identity and otherness

27 Dec 2011 2 Comments

by OutTales in Reflections on 2011 Tags: , ,

A couple of months ago, I was in a training session where we were exploring diversity and difference in the context of the ‘oppressor’ and ‘oppressed’.

In one of the exercises, we were asked by the facilitator to join one of the designated groups that we had collectively generated; the idea was for us to explore the potential issues faced by that oppressed group.

The groups included – Women, Jewish, Working class, LGBTI, Black and a couple of others that I forget.  We had to join a group that we self-identified with. As people moved around to join their chosen group, a guy from one of the other groups waved at me and said ‘come on, we are over here’. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was inviting me to join the Black group. ‘It’s okay, I’ll stay over here’, I said – ‘over here’, being the LGBTI group. The exchange lasted only a couple of seconds and yet it had a profound impact on me. More

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