OutTales around the Fire

I first joined Adodi in 2008, after being encouraged by a brother I met online from DC CHARLES NELSON. He encouraged me to apply for the Scholarship, where 50% of the fees are paid for by Brothers who can afford to pay. He said that if I did and was successful, he would pay the other half, I would only have to pay the flight etc.

I looked into Adodi, thought I would give it a try, and posted off my application; which after Charles’ help was successful – and he kept his word. He held my hand throughout the time, up until the retreat in Ohio in July 2008. We spent time together before & after the retreat, sharing hotels and food etc. It was the first time IN my life that I had witnessed and experienced something so generous and unconditional; on the retreat I met another 90 or so Brothers, who all thought the same. The experience was life-changing, to say the least. I decided there and then to commit to Adodi for the rest of my life and attend the annual retreats, and chant to that effect – being a Buddhist. More

Maintaining Family-ties is very central to most traditional Africans. An attempt to disrupt that could be suicidal. That was my case for many years. I was ready to do all it takes to maintain it, because as they say blood is thicker than water.

I grew up in a family of two sisters and one brother, as the last child. My father was more or less the only child of his parents. He was raised by his aunt and through her, she had one sister and two brothers (never call them cousins; there is no vocabulary for that in Yoruba culture). I always felt a great bond with my siblings and with my extended family as well. Both were often robed with “aso-ebi” during ceremonies. But, is blood really thicker than water?

As a young man conscious of his ambiguous sexuality, I was deeply confused with no one to confide in. I lived most of my pubescent to adulthood alone and in fear because of this reality. My anxiety was around the shame I could bring to the family and the rejection I would suffer. To avoid that, I was on the run from myself. I ran away from a profession I had passion for (comedy) to becoming a Catholic Priest, my second choice career. The priesthood stood as the stage shutter between me and those who may question my sexuality. It turned me to the fan and fancy of my family and friends, until I came out. More