My Sexuality is a Human Right

In January 2014, the Nigerian president signed a bill carrying a 14-year jail sentence for same-sex marriage.

Under  legislation “same-sex marriage” is defined as including all same-sex relationships, and targets people who “witness”, “aid” or “abet” such relationships. The legislation imposes up to 10 years’ imprisonment and a fine on anyone who “witnesses”, “aids” or “abets” same-sex relationships. The legislation also carries similar sentences for the establishment of gay clubs, and for any activity seen as supporting gay rights.

It’s currently illegal to engage in homosexual activity in Nigeria, so I shudder to think of the emotional impact of this potential legislation on the people who will be affected by it. I am also amazed that with all the pain and suffering going on in the country (and the world), that the legislators find precious time to spend on such legislation.

OutTales is involved in an awareness raising campaign showcasing musings from members of the LGBTI community; the intention is to highlight that we are no different from the rest of our family or neighbours; that we are human, with human needs, dreams, aspirations, wants and rights – we deserve our seat at the table. The campaign is entitled – ‘My Sexuality is a Human Right’.

Submissions can be a story, poem or reflections, saying something about how you view your sexuality or talking about the qualities that define you and your life or simply shouting out condemnation about the legislation – write whatever inspires you, a paragraph or 2 is fine, or even more! And do weave the title of the campaign into your submission.

All submissions are confidential and the actual names of the authors will not feature in the piece, unless specifically requested. If you feel called to submit something, send it to me at – outtales@yahoo.com

What Coming Out means to me

Although I am relatively content with my life and I have come out of the closet to some people, I have equally chosen to not come out of the closet to others.

Coming out of the closet to everyone in my life and to people who know me continues to scare me profoundly.  I can only call this a form of profound fear because I am afraid of the awkwardness it might create for me and I fear the negative consequences of losing the things that I hold dear – this includes my sense of self, the validation and respect of some friends, some colleagues, some relatives and my in-laws – I fear what they would think and how they would react. Do I really want to know what they think about my sexuality? NO! Do they really need to know what my sexuality is? NO!  Do they need to know I am not monogamous sexually? NO! More

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!

When I was 13, I knew I was gay. I didn’t do anything about it, until I was almost 22 – I spent the summer of that year in Kansas City!

I was afraid to be gay. Growing up in a northern English mill town, I heard the hate towards gay people, and I didn’’t want to be hated. More

Coming out to my Father

I never got to come out to my father. And it was only after his passing that I came to learn that he knew about the elephant in the room, he had simply never asked me and I had simply never told.

The first time I found out that he knew about the elephant in the room, was in the summer of 1989. My mother was visiting London from Nigeria, and one afternoon during a heated telling-off from her, she said ‘so I hear that you are now following men around’.

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The theme for May is ‘Coming Out’

Over the past couple of months, I have found myself caught up in conversations on the issue of ‘coming out’, or coincidentally, simply coming across a variety of articles on the matter.

Opinions have been diverse on whether ‘coming out’ is a necessary step in the journey of every same gender loving person and in some cases, the views have been that it is a western idea which is not always culturally compatible across the globe. There have also been some who have said ‘I don’t hide it. I simply don’t wear it on my shoulder. And if I was asked, I will tell’.

Every same gender loving person has a story to tell around coming out. From, choosing to come out to a parent, a friend, a work colleague or a stranger on a train. Or choosing not to come out when faced with the question from a family member, an old school friend or the cashier behind the till who asks whether the item we placed on the counter was for ‘your girlfriend’. The scenarios are endless. More

Bringing Passion to Play

In January 2010, I started taking improvisation classes. This was something that I had thought about doing for sometime, having falling in love, many years prior, with the show ‘Whose line is it anyway?’

Deep down, I had also felt that I’d enjoy throwing myself into ambiguous situations, not knowing where things might end up. Okay, intellectually I knew I’d enjoy it, and yet emotionally I was thinking, ‘I must be crazy embarking on this!’

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